He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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