wrigley field is MILF paradise
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
