So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
