So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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