Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
