I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
