Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
