i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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