garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
