you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
