im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
