I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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