I hate all girls vehemently.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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