Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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