were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
