Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
