Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just found puke in my bra..
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
