I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
