his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
