he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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