I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
