I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Randomize
