He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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