My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
