Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
