Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
