Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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