got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
dude. I can hear the air.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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