He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize