And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
