i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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