So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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