yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
