I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
