Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
