Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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