guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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