Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize