Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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