I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
and she was petting her beer can
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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