If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Let's get the cat blown out
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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