Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
