I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
