i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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