I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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