the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
