I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
