Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
