I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Randomize
