google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
