then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
