Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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