it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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