try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
