Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize