Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
