He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
