we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
