I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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