So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize