if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
