i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
