Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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