Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize