Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
