After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
